Well, we're about to enter the season of goodwill to all men; all men except for David Lemezmer it seems.
I have had little or no interest in my quest to search for a sponsor to enhance my magic act - as if you could really enhance perfection. In fact, none of my potential sponsors replied, with the exception of Duracell, which I regard as rather rude; that is the last time they'll hear from me.
My yearning to perform once more has gotten stronger as of late. After a really strong 2012, I am somewhat disappointed with how 2013 has gone. I am a natural performer, but have found it difficult to secure a gig since August and even that last performance was only a rather small village hall affair; a fund-raiser for the Dogs Trust. Actually, I am surprised that the Dogs Trust even needs to fund-raise what with all their clever dogs. I was once seriously thinking of sponsoring a dog but re-considered when the advert told me that when I became a sponsor, my new friend would write to me! If the dogs are that good, perhaps they should raise their own funds by writing a few books of their own to sell? At the very least they could help me with writing my autobiography! Perhaps I should write to them and ask them to sponsor me?
Talking about my autobiography, I'm sure that many people are asking the question, especially within the magic fraternity, "When can we expect David Lemezmer's thrilling book about his very successful life?" Well, there is good news and bad news on that front. The good news is that I'm now halfway through chapter eight. The bad news is that I'm struggling to find a publisher that will take this project on. I must confess that it is quite annoying to see David Jason popping up everywhere on the television boasting about his just released autobiography. What a coincidence that it has been published just in time for Christmas? How lucky was that! We all know that David's just trying to cash-in on the Christmas market; although I can't really blame him. Not everyone can be like me and have a guaranteed bestseller on his hands. I am lucky that I can have my autobiography published at any time of the year and expect to see it shoot up the bestsellers list to a number 1 position. Poor David. Granted the guy's had a couple of successful TV shows in his time, but he's certainly no David Lemezmer when it comes to talent. However, I am perplexed at how on earth he found a publisher for his mediocre book; if I am finding it difficult to get a publisher, one can only assume that David's book was finalised several years ago and it has taken quite a long time to come to fruition. I understand that these things can take some time.
I'm sure you can look forward to seeing 'Make no Mistake' (the title of my autobiography) at some point next year, so make sure you stay with me for the rollercoaster ride that will be my life in 2014.